


Ready and Waiting (For a Heart Worth the Breaking)

by benjji2795



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: All the couples listed are mentioned, But the focus is on Dex and Nursey, But this really isn't an AU, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Long-Harbored Feelings, M/M, Reuniting, The prompt I used was an AU, just FYI
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 16:25:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5832517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benjji2795/pseuds/benjji2795
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even after almost four years and no contact, Derek's heart still belongs to Dex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ready and Waiting (For a Heart Worth the Breaking)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from _One Sweet Love_ by Sara Bareilles.
> 
> This came from a Reuniting AU post on Tumblr, but I didn't really write it as an AU lol...the prompt though was: “I just found out through social media/mutual friends that you’re gay/bi/pan/etc. do you know how many times I did not make a move” AU. So this happened.
> 
> Lots of hugs to my beta-er, [DaZeli](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DaZeli/pseuds/DaZeli) :)

Derek blinked as he looked at his screen again.  There was that familiar smiling, freckled red-head, and the words _“I’m gay”_.  Together. 

 

Derek stopped himself before his heart started beating too fast.  He was on _Facebook_.  This prank was almost as old as Facebook itself.  Steal someone’s phone, get on their account and post a fake coming out status.  That had to be what happened to him.

 

Except there was a comment from him, assuring everyone that he hadn’t been hacked.  _Fuck_.

 

Dex had been his defenseman partner and (after a somewhat rough start) his best friend in college.  And, oh yeah, did he mention that he’d ended up falling in love with him?  He’d been victim of the age old curse of being queer: falling for someone who wasn’t.  3½ years he’d had to deal with that, with the knowledge that he couldn’t do anything about it, no matter how much he’d wanted to.  Now, it turns out he could have, and Derek wanted to kick himself (never mind that back then, he’d never had any indication that Dex was anything but straight).

 

Now he knew, and Derek really wanted to drive to wherever Dex was and kiss him, and tell him how long he’d wanted to do that, how he’d fallen in love with him and how he’d never been able to move on, how much he still loved him.

 

But he couldn’t, because he hadn’t spoken to Dex in almost four years.  About a year after they’d graduated, Dex had just—stopped responding to him, and no matter how much Derek had pushed, no matter how many messages he’d sent, no matter how many times he’d tried to call and Skype.  And so Derek stopped trying, even though it was torture to do.  He just had to accept that Dex didn’t want anything to do with him anymore.

 

That didn’t stop Derek from commenting on Dex’s status, congratulating him on coming out though.  Derek let out a deep sigh; how did Dex still have him wrapped so tightly around his finger?  Rather than try and answer that question, he went to bed, and so he missed Dex’s reply:

 

_Thanks Nursey :)_

* * *

 

Chowder called after Derek got out of work the next day to talk about Dex, by which point Derek had already forgotten about what happened.

 

“Did you see?!?!” Chowder asked excitedly when he answered, before Derek could even say hello.

 

“Did I see what?” Derek answered, pressing the phone to his ear with his shoulder while he slowly made his way around his kitchen, making his afternoon cup of tea.

 

“Dex came out!!!” Chowder replied enthusiastically.  “I thought you would’ve been all over that!”

 

_Right, that was a thing that happened last night._

“Oh yeah,” Derek responded flatly.  Chowder knew about how he felt for Dex (but Derek hadn’t told him until Dex had stopped replying to him), so of course Chowder would bring it up (in a well-meaning way).  “I didn’t know he was gay, but it’s a good thing for him, you know he’s finally feeling it’s okay to be himself after all these years.”

 

“Yeah, it’s great!  All the comments are so support—” Chowder stopped suddenly, causing Derek to pause as he was taking a sip of his tea.  “Oh my _God_ , he replied to your comment!” he blurted out in astonishment.

 

 _“What?”_ Derek coughed, choking on the sip he’d just taken.  Once he was done hacking, he quickly pulled the phone away from his ear and opened Facebook.  There it was, buried among a bunch of other notifications so that he hadn’t noticed:

 

_Thanks Nursey :)_

 

“Oh my God,” Derek whispered, stumbling backward to sit down on stool in his kitchen.  That was about the last thing he expected to happen.  He figured it would just be another ignored attempt at communication with Dex that he could add to his long list of ignored attempts.

 

“Maybe this means he’s going to talk to you again!” Chowder suggested ecstatically.  That made Derek come crashing back down to Earth.  It was just one comment, it most likely didn’t have some grander meaning.

 

“Or maybe he was just automatically replying to all the comments and didn’t realize he was replying to mine,” he frowned, sighing dejectedly.  Dex hadn’t sent him a private message, or texted him, or done anything to suggest that it wasn’t just an accidental reply, one that happened as a result of replying to hundreds of comments all night.

 

“You never know!”

 

“I appreciate your positivity C, but I don’t think so,” Derek shrugged.  “I’d rather not get my hopes up.”

 

“Okay,” Chowder replied, his perkiness not a bit dampened by Derek’s melancholy attitude.  He paused before changing the subject.  “Hey, Bitty wanted me to ask if you’re coming to the alumni weekend at Samwell in two weeks.”

 

“Oh yeah, of course I’ll be there,” Derek answered.  He’d never turn down the chance to see all his friends.  He still talked to them frequently through text and Skype, even though they didn’t get together very often.

 

“That’s great Bitty will be so excited and I’m coming too I can’t wait to see everyone again especially you and Bitty!” Chowder rambled joyfully and Derek chuckled.

 

“Yeah, it’ll be great to see you too C.”

 

As he said goodbye and hung up, he wasn’t hoping that there would be a certain person coming (shut up, he _wasn’t_ ).

* * *

 

Derek drove up to the Haus, and as he put the car in park, he was already getting lost in all the best memories of his time living there.  Memories of which very few involved Dex—shit, that was a _terrible_ lie, almost all of them involved Dex in one way or another.  But he wasn’t going to let himself spend the weekend getting caught up in reminders of what he’d had while he was here (and what he’d since lost).  He shouldered his bag and walked up to the door, the smells of vanilla, cinnamon, and maple wafting their way to his nose.

 

 _“Bitty and Jack must already be here,”_ he thought to himself.  Bitty probably arrived very early.  Derek wouldn’t be surprised if he did because he wanted to get a head-start on all the things he planned to bake for the weekend.

 

“Hello?” Derek called out as he closed the front door behind him.

 

“We’re all in the kitchen!” Bitty yelled back cheerfully.  Derek dropped his bag with the others in the living room and stepped into the kitchen.  Jack, Shitty, Lardo and Chowder were all sitting down at the table, the current Haus residents huddled around them while Bitty flitted around, baking pies, and it was like Derek was transported back in time nine years to his freshman days.

 

“Nursey!” Chowder shouted, leaping up to hug him.  Chowder got there first, but almost immediately he was followed by all their friends, being engulfed in a kind-of celly.  It made Derek’s heart ache to go back to those days, the days when they were all here under this roof, not scattered across the country.

 

“It’s so ‘swawesome to be here with all you guys,” Derek grinned, walking to lean up against the fridge, out of Bitty’s way.

 

“Yeah brah, it is,” Shitty said, leaning back and stroking his pornstache (which, shockingly, despite being a lawyer, he still had).  “Remember the time when…”

 

And just like, they all launched into reminiscing about their days in the Haus.  Shitty brought up the time Bitty hid under the table when Ransom and Holster were trying to set him up for Winter Screw, which of course summoned them to crash through the front door together.

 

Derek looked around at all his friends, watching as they went through the same routine with Ransom and Holster as they did with him, thinking about everything that happened, everywhere they’d been, and everything they’d accomplished since they’d graduated.

 

Jack had won Rookie of the Year, two Stanley Cups and led the NHL in points the last four seasons (which had resulted in three Hart Memorial Trophies), and perhaps more importantly, gotten his shit together, asked Bitty (who was now the host of The Food Network’s top rated show) out and became the NHL’s first out-and-proud player.  They’d gotten married two years ago in one of the most beautiful ceremonies Derek had ever had the pleasure of being a part of.

 

Shitty (now known in his professional life as Bernard) had become one of the top LGBTQ+ and gender identity rights lawyers in the world, and Lardo was a world-renowned sculptor.  She and Shitty weren’t anything official (because, in their words, _fuck societal expectations of how relationships should be defined_ ), but they’d been living together for the last four years, so they were pretty much a couple.

 

Chowder had moved back to California, and had gotten a job working with (to no one’s surprise) sharks as a marine biologist.  He and Farmer had gotten married at the end of their senior year, and now had three boys that were basically mini-Chowders running around in Shark’s gear (who, for the purposes of this weekend, he’d left with Farmer back in Cali).

 

Ransom and Holster hadn’t left each other’s side in the time since they’d left Samwell.  Holster had followed Ransom to med school, and claimed to be the only reason Ransom had actually survived, something Ransom never refuted.  No one quite knew for sure, but about a year ago, they’d stopped seeing other people, and so they all assumed that they had started dating each other, but there hadn’t been any kind of official announcement or any outward indication that the nature of their relationship had changed (it was on the unofficial “list” of things Derek wanted to figure out this weekend).

 

Derek himself had become a published poet, selling hundreds of thousands of copies of each of his poetry collections (most of the poems being about missed opportunities and unrequited love; critics often pointed out his extensive, almost excessive use of fiery imagery, which of course, had absolutely _nothing_ to do with Dex).  The only downside to his post-college life was the way he was still hung up on someone who, until a few weeks ago, hadn’t even acknowledged his existence in years.

 

Derek was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of the front door opening again.  He was surprised; he thought that everyone that was coming was already here.  Given the way everyone else's heads turned (minus Bitty, who appeared to be completely engrossed in his baking), he wasn’t the only one.  There was brief exchange of looks between everyone before whoever it was turned the corner, and then Derek stopped breathing for a moment.

 

He’d been seeing pictures of Dex for years on Facebook (he’d never been blocked, just ignored), but seeing Dex in front of him, Derek came to the conclusion that there was a lot that those pictures missed or features they softened.  Like the way Dex’s jaw and cheeks were sharper, his shoulders more muscular and square, his amber eyes brighter, his hair a more brilliant red, and even the way his adorably ridiculous ears stuck out from his head were more than a camera could ever possibly capture.

 

“H-hey guys,” Dex croaked anxiously, and their eyes met briefly before a shout went up and Dex was enveloped by a swarm of ex and current hockey players.  And Derek—he just stood and stared.  Dex was smiling; a true smile, one of happiness that reached his eyes, something he hadn’t been doing in pictures for a long time.  Dex—he was happy to be here, and that made Derek smile and his heart leap.

 

Once the crowd dissipated, Dex walked over to him.

 

“Hey Nurse,” he said quietly, playfully, lightly punching Derek’s arm.

 

“Hey asshole,” Derek replied bitterly before he could stop himself, because yeah, he was angry about how Dex just cut him off.  He couldn’t come here and say “hey” and make Derek forget about how much he had hurt him.

 

“Yeah, I deserve that,” Dex mumbled, taking a small step forward and flushing out of shame (and boy, did Derek miss the way Dex blushed).  “But—can we not do this in front of everyone?” he leaned in, whispering into Derek’s ear.

 

“Sure man, it’s—” Derek said loud enough for everyone to hear (only because he knew his answer wouldn’t give anything away), pausing for dramatic effect, a smirk playing across his lips—he hadn’t done this in a long time and he was going to _savor_ it.  _“Chill.”_

The entire kitchen groaned and Dex rolled his eyes as he shuffled back towards the table.

 

“Nice to see you haven’t changed much bro,” Holster remarked, shaking his head.

* * *

 

Once Bitty had finished what he had been making, they all made the trek down to Faber.  They were going to play an casual scrimmage, the old team versus the new.

 

When they started walking, Dex grabbed Derek’s arm, slowing him down until they were trailing a few steps behind the rest of the pack.  They walked close to each other, arms brushing together every few steps.

 

“I’m really sorry Derek,” Dex said, watching the ground below his feet carefully as he spoke.  Derek had never seen Dex look this small; his hands were in his pockets, his shoulders were hunched over, and his voice was quiet.  It was a total antithesis to the way Dex was the last time Derek saw him in person (which, _fuck_ , that was graduation).

 

“I know we weren’t Ransom and Holster by any stretch of the imagination, but I thought we were best friends.  It really hurt when you stopped talking to me,” Derek sighed.  He wanted to stay indignant about it, if only because that indignation would keep some kind of barrier between them, but it was Dex.  He just couldn’t.  Dex was clearly upset and apologetic about what happened and Derek—he didn’t think he couldn’t hold it against him—or at least not for very long.

 

“If it means anything, it hurt me a lot too.”

 

“Then why did you do it?”

 

Dex blew out a breath and was quiet for a while.  “I—I don’t think I have reason that doesn’t come down to me being a coward.  I—I lost most of my friends that way.  I—if it wasn’t for Bitty tracking me down, I wouldn’t even be here for this.  He uh, he literally drove to my apartment with Shitty to tell me to get my ‘sorry ass to Samwell.   It’s not fucking negotiable, brah.’”

 

“Well, I’m glad you’re here.  Really, I am,” Derek replied, knocking into Dex’s shoulder.  “You seemed really happy when the guys were hugging you.”

 

“Yeah,” Dex ducked his head and grinned slightly.  “I _am_ happy to be here.  It’s nice not be alone, you know?”

 

“You never had to be alone.  We all tried to be there for you, but you just shut us out.  There wasn’t anything we could do, you know?” Derek shrugged, sadly looking at Dex.

 

“I know.  I realize that now.  Just—thanks for, you know, not hating me after—”

 

“I never once hated you,” Derek interrupted, because it was true.  Never once in the years they hadn’t been speaking had he ever hated Dex.  Maybe he was frustrated with him, disappointed in him, but he didn’t hate him.

 

“Thanks,” Dex murmured, brushing their shoulders together again as they walked into Faber.  “I don’t ever want to do that again.  I—I really missed everyone.”

 

Dex quickly cut into the locker room, and Derek wasn’t sure if the way Dex said _everyone_  meant anything, or if he was simply hearing what he wanted to hear.

* * *

 

He and Dex ended up paired up as D-men for the scrimmage, of course.  And out on the ice, the chemistry was still there like the last time they’d played together was just the day before.  They played like they could read each other’s minds, completely shutting down the new SMH team (who were the defending D-I National Champions).  On the strength of their defensive play and of Jack and Bitty still being completely in sync, scoring two goals together, they won the scrimmage 3-1.

 

But, by far, the best moment was when Derek scored the third goal off an assist from Dex.  Dex slammed into him, hugging him and grinning widely.  Just to have Dex close to him again made Derek feel warm and bubbly inside in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time.

 

Later, back at the Haus, everyone had a couple beers, and he and Dex sat close to each other, Derek buzzing with electricity at the way their thighs were touching.  Knowing that he had a chance added a different edge to the way the alcohol settled in his stomach, but it wasn’t bad.  He liked the feeling.

 

Also, he _may_ have had a few extra drinks, since he knew he was staying at the Haus overnight, and so he was just short of being completely schwasted.

 

“Hey,” Derek giggled, lolling his head onto Dex’s shoulder.  Everyone was engrossed in their own conversations, so it was just the two of them on the couch, in their own little bubble.  “I’m really happy to see you again.”

 

“Yeah, me too,” Dex smiled.  “I missed everyone so much.”

 

There it was again.  _Everyone._ He said _everyone_ , but Derek still couldn’t tell if his tone was suggesting that he was communicating something completely different.

“I know, you said that already,” Derek slurred, the alcohol in him and his newfound knowledge giving him a kind of bravery he hadn’t had with Dex before.  “But did you miss _me_?”

 

Dex looked down at him, a strange look crossing his face as he put an arm around his shoulders.  “Yeah, of course I did.  I think I missed you the most, Derek.”

 

Derek’s heart sped up and jumped into his throat at Dex’s admission.  “Y-you really mean that?” Derek asked hopefully.  He wasn’t sure if this was actually happening or if he was just having some strange alcohol-induced dream.

 

“Yeah, I do.  I—it’s why I came out.  I knew I was coming here and I—” Dex said quietly, his thumb rubbing absentmindedly back and forth across Derek’s clavicle.  “I wanted to see you—wanted to know if I still had a chance.”

 

 _“Will—”_ Derek gasped, struck dumbfounded and breathless by Dex’s words.

 

“I know I probably don’t have any right asking this, after everything that happened but—” Dex started and stopped, taking a deep breath, his face steadily turning red and his eyes beginning to shine.  “I really like you.  A lot.  I have since our second year here.  It’s been for a long time that even with all the time apart, it didn't subside and like, I’m pretty sure that I love you—and that’s why I did everything I did.  I was scared and didn’t want to come out and didn’t know what to do.  So I ran, like the—”

 

“Will, don’t,” Derek interjected, placing a hand over Dex’s mouth to stop him from saying he was a coward again, his heart soaring.  “I don’t care.  None of that matters to me.”

 

“But—”

 

Derek surged up and kissed him quiet.  All the pieces fit together perfectly, and everything Dex did made perfect sense.  He was just scared and—Derek knew what Dex’s family was like.  Shit, if Derek had been in the same place Dex was, he’d have probably done the same thing.

 

“I don’t care,” Derek whispered, cupping his face and stroking Dex’s cheeks with his thumbs as the room fell silent.  Actually, now that he was thinking about it, the room had been silent for a while.  “And you’ve always had a chance, because I love you too.”

 

Dex smiled and giggled, leaning over and returning the favor, kissing him (to thunderous applause).

 

“Absolutely touching bros,” Ransom commented from his place on Holster’s lap (when had that happened?  Also that answers that question…).

 

“Wait, does anyone remember who had what in the betting pool?” Holster questioned as he wiped a tear from his eye.

 

“I still have it somewhere on my phone,” Lardo proclaimed, pulling it up.

 

“You guys were betting on us?” Dex asked, ducking his head and blushing furiously.

 

“Yeah, but you weren’t the only ones,” Lardo shrugged.  “We had one on Jack and Bitty too.”

 

“Y’all are too much!” Bitty squeaked as Jack tightened the arm around his shoulders.  “Also, who won?”

 

Lardo raised her hand as she continued to squint at the screen.

 

“I was only off by a little,” Derek grumbled and Dex chuckled at him.

 

“Doesn’t count,” Lardo smirked.  “Alright, here we go.  Let’s see—well, would you look at who won,” she chuckled as everyone else started chucking pillows at her.

 

Derek snuggled in closer to Dex’s side as everyone else exchanged money, shaking his head at his ridiculous friends.

 

“I know,” Dex muttered in agreement.

 

But Derek was glad he had them all.  And he was glad he had Dex back, even if it took a while and even if it was in a different way than before.


End file.
